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|Articles and books about healthy relationships|
Below you find short reviews of selected self-help books and games that we use and recommend.
Personal and Spiritual Growth:
Integral Spirituality: A Startling New Role for Religion in the Modern and Postmodern World, by Ken Wilber is his latest major book. I could not agree more with those who call it "the most important spiritual book in postmodern times."
The Way of the Superior Man
Toward a Psychology of Awakening, by John Welwood was the first of his books that I read. I started with chapter 15 "Intimate Relationship as Transformative Path". For the first time I realized that both, falling (or being) in love and "compatibility" are important for a path of love and awakening (and otherwise a sure recipe for an unhealthy relationship). I often read and mentioned his analogy of "Heaven and Earth" on page 236 and 237 and integrated his wisdom into Integral Relationships.
Nonviolent Communication (aka NVC) by
The Power Of Now, by
is a wonderful and easy (but not simple) introduction to spirituality for Westerners. It contains a very idealistic chapter (8) on Enlightened Relationships.
Integral Psychology, by Ken Wilber was the first of his books that I read. Later I realized that I should have started with "Introducing Ken Wilber". Although it was hard for me to comprehend, it still changed my awareness about human consciousness from 2D to 3D. I had NO IDEA! It was just WOW!!!!
Ken Wilber has spent some 30 years of his life, reading and understanding everything that has been written and researched about the history of human development, spirituality, consciousness, psychology, science, art, religion etc. and integrated all these sometimes conflicting concepts and wisdoms into an integral model that allowed my to write Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men.
Facets of Unity - The Enneagram of Holy Ideas, by A.H. Almaas is the basis for some of the books below (e.g. Undefended Love) who build on Almaas's deep research into human consciousness and our essential nature.
Online Dating for Dummies, by Judith Silverstein, MD and Michael Lasky, JD covers all the basics, has useful tips and examples, is very easy to read and sometimes funny.
Find a Husband after 35, by Rachel Greenwald uses what what she learned at Harvard Business School. It is a 15 - step action program that covers all the practical/pragmatic aspects and ideas of dating that she could think of.
It does not cover anything emotional or spiritual and it is very business-like approach. The author is very direct and blunt.
Mars And Venus On a Date, by John Gray
If The Buddha Dated, by Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D. provides many practical tips, not only for spiritual or Buddhist singles. The short chapters on many topics including some psychological and spiritual aspects.
I love this book and use it often with clients
Intellectual Foreplay, by Eve Eschner-Hogan and Steven Hogan provides a plethora of questions to ask your date.
We sometimes wish we would have asked or know before we committed, and this book helps you to avoid that mistake. Great to read alone or together.
Calling In the One, by Katherine Woodward Thomas is my favorite relationship book for women who want to open up to a partner.
Relational Being, by Kenneth J. Gergen provides an academic in-depth look at how our relationships define us as human beings. It centers on broad discontent with the individualist tradition in which the rational agent, or autonomous self, is considered the fundamental atom of social life, and provides alternatives to individualist understandings. This is not an easy read, but currently the most profound book on human relations.
The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm is a
small but substantial book. While reading I could not help to often think... this is where the other authors got their basic information and inspiration from. I highly recommend this book for singles and couples.
Living Life In Love by Peter
is a true treasure box of spiritual and psychological wisdom. It is also a workbook to uncover your spiritual and loving qualities. Peter Rengel is a HAI facilitator and teacher. To order, call Peter at 415-459-3113
Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch, Ph.D.
The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra
Journey of the Heart by John Welwood is a classic that took him 17 years to write.
Love and Awakening by John Welwood profoundly changed my perspective on love relationships. Like "Undefended Love" (but from a more spiritual and less psychological view) it explains how to take responsibility for our own feelings and how to use painful emotions to heal old wounds and awaken. It also gave me insights into universal love for all sentient beings versus this special love for a romantic partner and clarified the term "soul-mate" for me. Together with "Undefended Love", it is my favorite post-modern relationship book!
Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships
Mars and Venus Together Forever, by John Gray will make you often smile because you see your own behavior and that of your partner in it, and sometimes wince because of the generalizations. I would call it an entry level relationship book with all the "she says, he hears" and "he does, she sees/thinks" lists.
Undefended Love, by Jett Psaris and Marlena S. Lyons was an eye opener for me. In this book they describe how we can return to our essential authentic self when we learn to take responsibility for our feelings and recognize that they are ultimately pain from the past that can be healed. I still struggle a little with their concept of Compensatory Identity, Cracked Identity and Essential self. Together with "Love and Awakening", it is my favorite post-modern relationship Book.
The Exceptional Seven Percent, by Gregory K. Popcak is based on hard research and entertaining to read.
It explains the 9 habits (or secrets) that the 7% of long-time happy couples have developed.
The Mastery Of Love, by Don Miguel Ruiz
Getting The Love you Want (A Guide for Couples) by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. is a relationship book classic
with over 1 Million books sold. There is also a workbook.
How To Be An Adult In Relationships by
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
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